stuck

Now I really am a big failior. I had 2 days without any markins in here. 2 days! On saturday I got too drunk and on sunday I was too tired. Brilliant. But it's monday now and time to start all over again. BUT I do not seem to be making any progres with this subject. Oh yes I probably still want to try to do children's books but what then. I need to have bit more to my great plan to make it special. I'v been also thinking my narcistic side that loves to perform. Should I now just completely forget about it and consentrate on traditional means of illustration or should I embrace the variety of things I would love to do. I even did performance as my elective earlier this term and I loved loved loved every moment of it. But what the hell amIi supposed to do with performance? It is fun indeed but I can't see it paying my rent or relating anyhow to illustration. Obviously now when I am still a student I can combine it to my art practise but does it carry on to the real world? And shouldn't I be thinking of the real world now. Time after the degree. Shouln't my final project reflect strongly what I intend to do professionally? HEEEELP. I do not now what to do! I am bloody stuck in here!!!!!!

This picture is from "Dances of Vice" club in New York where everybody dresses up in
fairytalish manner. My friend just went there and that's how I ended up browsing the galleries on their website. I love clubs and parties like that and use to go even more often to such places. I could just spend all my life like in a fairytale. That would be perfect!